Sunday, March 27, 2005

New Rule

OK, no more goatees. Guys, they look stupid. They were in, what, a decade ago? Sure, we all had them then, but their time is up. You're not Stone Cold. You're not Evil Spock. You look like an idiot. Shave the damn thing.

For that matter, no "string" beards, those thin things around your jawline. That looks stupid, too. In fact, if you're going to have facial hair just grow the damn beard and bite the bullet. If you spend more time grooming your facial hair than dressing yourself, you've got a problem.

And don't ever, ever, ever pluck your goddam eyebrows.


At 10:19 PM, Blogger Christopher Burton said...

I grew a beard once. The general consensus was that I looked like Abraham Lincoln.

I shaved it off. There was only one Great Emancipator and I ain't him.

At 10:22 PM, Blogger Joe Rice said...

Was your beard a "hard-drinkin' Lincoln"? Cause I've never seen ANYBODY (unAmish) pull that one off.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Not that I disagree, Joe, but what brought this on?

At 12:47 PM, Blogger Joe Rice said...

Been meaning to post it for a while. I might post a series of rules that seem obvious, but, apparently, some folks need.

At 10:20 PM, Blogger Loren said...

I tried a goatee right about this time last year. I lacked a razor for a week, and afterwards ended up keeping the goatee and mustache for about a month following.

Some of my friends said it looked okay, but I was never quite satisfied with the mustache. So I put the question of shaving it to a vote at CBR. The result strongly favored shaving, and so I got rid of it.

My brother's grown another goatee as of late. I think it makes him look like Shaggy (from Scooby-Doo, not the singer).

At 10:35 PM, Blogger Joe Rice said...

Just say no to once-trendy facial hair. It'll be back in eventually, but go all the way in either direction now: clean or bearded.


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