Post Electoral Depression Cheer-Up Review

I haven't read everything yet, but what I have read has gone a ways into clearing up the morbid dread that's been hovering over me since last night. And get this! This is the nerdiest bad effect of the election yet! For the past few weeks, my pals and I have gone old school and played some D&D. But our DM is quite the leftist activist and is going into "fight of flight" mode and is making travel plans. May or may not leave the country. What will ever become of Chok Malloo, Private Investigator?

Sigh. Moving along. Justice League Unlimited is straight-up old school (there's that phrase again) one-off superhero stories that work. Does anyone do those anywhere other than in the DC animated line anymore? The Atom, Firestorm, Wonder Woman, and Ice make up the JLA team that SOMEONE PROBABLY KIND OF DEMANDED ONCE! But I kid. There are some cute jokes about shrinking's effects on the body and Ice pukes a lot. This won't wow anyone, but the industry could do worse than having this kind of journeyman quality with decent 3 act structures.

So Marvel cancelled Jubilee before issue 3 even comes out. I hope the trades get out in the right place. Jubilee's a good book. It's cute, it's funny, and it works on its own level and way. The girls in my class have recently become obsessed with the 4 issues of Mary Jane Marvel released then shit-canned. I can imagine they'd do likewise. I mean, they sit and talk about the goings-on in lunch! I see girls sitting in Barnes and Noble reading Manga trades all day. CASH IN ON THIS, MORONS!

Hawaiian Dick: The Last Resort is good for many reasons. The art is sweet, unique, and improving with every issue. The characters are charming and have individual feel. And it is chock-full of making fun of the Irish and the Italians. There are few things I love more than chiding micks and wops and this book lets me do both. This is like having whiskey and spaghetti all at the same time! Yay! (I seriously do love this book.)

What exactly is the point of Hulk/Thing? I mean, really? There's some fun one-liners and the art is beyoot, but . . .what's going on? We've had three issues of two guys remembering things and occasionally punching each other for a few seconds. Bruce Jones' Hulk was great at one point. And now it's . . .I have no idea what it is. Ah, well. Bring PAD back. The fans are clamoring, I bet. All twenty of them!

The Punisher is fun stuff. I'm like the one person in the world that LOVED Ennis' Fury. And we get to see him again now. AND HE DRINKS BOOKER'S BOURBON! If you don't know, Bookers is a REALLY good top-shelf bourbon that's got an AVERAGE proofage of 127 or so. Average. They don't know the exact proofage of each bottle. It's great tasting and your first drink feels like a lit match moving down your body. AND NICK FURY DRINKS IT! I love you, Garth Ennis. Unfortunately, the artist shows a bottle of JD. Goddam Tennessee swill! Do your research! And when the character says "neat" don't draw ice cubes! ANYway, the issue was really good. Stupid Jack Daniels.

Nice flashback issue of Sleeper. We get the background of Tao and Lynch's mutual despisement. Despisery? NOT LIKING EACH OTHER REAL HARD. This was hardly the strongest issue of the series, so I wouldn't recommend it as a jumping-on point, but it was neat for a fan to read what went on before.

Wow. The Question looks GREAT! Has Edwards' art always been like this? Shit, I really love it. He's rising way up there very quickly. The story was . . .fine. Good, in fact. An intro with some plot and some new developments in a character that's had nowhere to go for a while. Sad that the best the Question could do since Watchmen was imitate the character that imitated him at one point. The city shaman thing is a bit weird, but I can do weird. And it LOOKS SO DAMN GREAT! Yum.

I somehow missed Jack Staff last week. Changed that this week. There's even a card game for free inside made by Grist! As usual, Grist's story takes place in various time frames, but we know this will eventually all tie together. Are you not reading Jack Staff? If you aren't, then you are a bad person and not even your dad likes you anymore. He told me so, you non Jack Staff reading crap head.

How was Majestic selling? It's already got a ongoing coming off of it. And it's really good. Majestic becomes more than "Mean Superman." And, hell, so does Eradicator, for that matter! Thank you, Abnett and Lanning. And Kerschl, even though I do not trust your vowel-rich name. Straight superheroics. Only a day after I bitch about how DC doesn't do that anymore . . .
JLA: Classified . . .happyshake. Sogood. Sogood. Batman written as . . .HOLY CRAP A CHARACTER WITH MORE THAN ONE ASPECT! "Break out the sci-fi closet." Oh, man. Morrison's Batman is funner than ever. I'd give up BJs for more of this, like, one per issue or something. The Quantum Keyboard is awesome. Goraiko is awesome. Knight and Jack are awesome. Squire is awesome. 4-D is awesome. Everyone is awesome. This book is awesome. McGuinness' cartoony style works like crazy here. The scary stuff is made scarier but more palatable at the same time. And the fun stuff makes me feel like the book is caressing my insides and soothing everying. All the sudden, Bush didn't win . . .Howard Dean did. No, Jesus did. Take me, Jesus. But please let me bring Grant Morrison.

Ah, and BPRD was strong, of course, but weakened a bit by the fact that it's been so long since the last mini. But I sure am in. And I like Captain Zombie. Heh.
And not yet read and reviewed: Or Else, Amazing Fantasy, Little Endless, Mr. X, and The Golden Plates.